A Life Update

Life has certainly taken a strange turn this year. Each month seems to have a new troublesome obstacle to endure . While everyone's in a similar situation, we're not all in the same boat. There's some people who are being hit harder while others aren't feeling as much pressure. Some have lost their income, some are higher risk, some are taking on new household roles, some have lost loved ones, and some are essential workers risking their lives while on the clock. My heart goes out to everyone right now.

I'm going to rewind my story here. Back when this all started in the US, I was one of the people who thought "This is ridiculous, it's basically like the flu, what's everyone panicking for?" The more time went on and I was more aware of what other countries' healthcare systems were up against, I began to understand why the possibility of quarantine would be for the best. However, it didn't quite feel real, even after my son's school was cancelled due to it, or the 4 weeks he was home on "break". I was in some sort of denial over the situation up until the day I had to go pick up all my son's school materials from his desk, and school was officially closed for the rest of the year. It finally set in that I couldn't deny how strange and awful the situation really was.

My husband had a mild cold and was told to take a week off- just in case. When he was able to return to work a week later, all of their customers (mostly nonessential businesses) were closed, so even though he is an essential worker- he had no work. When they finally had work for him it was only a couple hours a day a couple days a week, It went back and forth between a week of nothing to a couple hours here and there for a few weeks, before he was laid off. He's finally back at work now, and his employer is trying to find projects for them regardless of if it's in their field, so I'm hopeful that our financial situation will become less of a daunting question mark.

I tried to quickly make some masks for my family in the healthcare field, it was a good project to keep me busy. I definitely recommend trying to find productive projects to occupy your time. It just makes you feel good to complete things, even if they were projects you weren't anticipating- the masks made themselves a priority of mine.

During the time that my family was all at home- with disrupted routines and no schedule, I began to also realize that I was overwhelmed and super depressed, not just super lazy and tired. I would do the daily minimum to keep the household running and clean, as well as any obsessive projects I "needed" to complete (ie masks). I'd spend most of my time sleeping. Which sucked and is time that I could have spent with my family that I'll never get back. Granted, my mind and body was struggling to adjust to everything, so I have to give myself a break.

Finally decided that this wasn't just going to solve itself anytime soon, and how I was handling it wasn't working for me. So I got out my binder, and I planned. I set up a new routine, new schedules, and some schooling activities for my kids to keep their minds sharp (before distance learning started). With the structure that my brain craves to function finally in place, I noticed that my depression wasn't as present, and I could tell that my kids were benefiting from it as well. Win win. When distance learning actually started up my son was better prepared to learn and my love of planning thrived with making the schedule to keep him on track, I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not still overwhelmed/stressed/depressed/etc but compared to where I was at last month, I'm in a healthier mind space.

So that's where I'm at. I can't wait for some sort of normalcy. I can't wait to be able to have answers for my kids, who are so confused about life right now and the current situation the world is in- but I'm confused too, I hate not having any sort of clue as to how to calm their nerves about this. I've tried my best, but it still breaks my heart that my 8 (almost 9!) year old is so worried that he might not get to grow up, (yes, this is something that has come from his mouth) I hate hearing him talk that way, but telling him not to would only invalid his feelings, which I'm not down for. I just hope that we all have answers soon.

Regardless of how you're effected, it's been an extremely stressful and traumatic time for us all. Big or small all of our troubles are valid and we're allowed to feel upset by them, It's equally important though to recognize that it could be worse, while also knowing (hoping, at least) that it will get better. Give yourself- give everyone a break, we're all struggling. Be kind, be cautious, and wash your hands!